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In the context of our modern
lives, many of us have become confused about the nature of service and
the nature of giving. We have been taught that giving to another or
helping or healing means giving up our life energy. We have been
taught that a "good" person "gives to others" and does "good things"
for others. In their truest definitions, this is exactly what the
sacred text and great teachers of the world have been saying for many
centuries. But somewhere along the way it seems we have lost our
understanding of what 'giving' really is. Ironically, there is a very
different way to understand giving. What if giving has nothing to do
with fixing, changing or helping another, but rather receiving the
love of another that is hidden in their own heart?
This is one of the paradoxes of practical mysticism--that in
relationship the "giver" should receive as much as the "receiver,"
since in this paradigm, giving and receiving are the same.
The secret to this process is to reverse the usual concept of giving
and receiving. To know in fact, that we heal another by breathing in
the love in their being, by drawing out their ability to love, and by
drawing out the Divine Light that is inherent in each soul, whether it
is apparent or not. By consciously breathing in the love in the other,
we draw out their capacity to love in a different manner than is
normally understood. Rather than saying, "I love you," we say, "You
love me." We call forward the other's capacity to love and to heal the
world and themselves by shining our light on the light already in
them. We reverse the flow that most of us consider to be the way of
loving kindness and at the same time we ourselves receive not only a
healing, but a deeper level of contact with the other.
Love, healing, connection, or contact in relationship should never be
depleting. If it is, we are misunderstanding something. Love is like
the perpetual motion machine. It generates more energy as it goes
along, not less.
In this way, we are nourished in our relationships with each other by
receiving the beauty and joy and love in the other, even when it is
not on the surface. Even if it is not readily available, we know and
believe that in every human being the capacity to love deeply is
inherent and therefore we trust that these qualities are there just
waiting to be released from their prison of a broken or hardened
heart. But we do not push. We patiently and lovingly just go beyond
the outer shell, connect with the light that is already in them and
receive it into ourselves. We become their vessel which sometimes
shows them what they cannot see themselves. And the most beautiful
gift we can give anyone is the gift of receiving them in their
greatness and their beauty, even when they themselves cannot. We draw
it out. And in drawing it out, we are renewed and filled in our own
being. By saying, "You love me" the Divine spark is given a conductor
and the circle of love is given a kick-start into existence.
Practical mysticism is about reversing the flow, thinking in paradoxes
and being able to contain all the contradictions of life by holding
the presence of opposites. When we are involved with real human
beings, we must learn to think and act and love in different ways than
we have been taught and be willing to go out on the edge for the sake
of finding a different way to be in the world with ease and
contentment. By giving through receiving, we do just that.
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